A portrait of William “Freddie” McCullough
William Freddie McCullough may no longer be with us, but his incredible obituary, published September 14, 2013 in the Savannah Morning News will always be with us.
It begins like all good stories do:
“The man. The myth. The legend.” Men wanted to be “him” and women wanted to be “with” him.
William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013 at the young age of 61, but his “spirit is living on” thanks to his now viral death notice.
Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reese’s Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order.
He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Also not necessarily in that order.
He was a master craftsman who “single handedly” built his beautiful house from the ground up.
Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping “wheelies” on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and “hitting” Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45.
When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it.
Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. “You just never knew which 50%.”
Marshall Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright and Charlie Harper were his TV heroes.
And he was the hero for his six children: “Mark, Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley and Thomas.”
Freddie “adored” the ladies. And they adored “him”. There isn’t enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie’s past. There isn’t enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book.
A few of the more colorful ones were “Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa” (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude).
He attracted more women than a “shoe sale” at Macy’s.
He got “married” when he was 18, but it didn’t last. Freddie was no “quitter” so he gave it a “shot” two more times.
It didn’t “work out” with any of the wives, but he “managed” to stay friends with them and their parents.
In between his many “adventures”, Freddie appeared in several films including “The Ordeal of Dr. Mudd, A Time for Miracles, The Conspirator, Double Wide Blues and Pretty Fishes.”
When Freddie took off for that “pool party” in the sky, he left behind his sons Mark McCullough, Shain McCullough and his wife Amy, Clint McCullough and his wife Desiree, and Thomas McCullough and his wife Candice; and his daughters Brandice Chambers and her husband Michael, Ashley Cooler and her husband Justin; his brothers Jimmie and Eddie McCullough; and his girlfriend Lisa Hopkins; and seven delightful grandkids.
Sadly, “Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children.”
Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.
McCullough’s son wrote his obituary, not feeling a traditional style was appropriate for his father.
The man’s eldest son, Mark McCullough, wrote the obituary and spoke to the Morning News about his father.
The filmmaker told the newspaper that reading other, “more traditional obituaries”, showed him what “not to write” for his father’s.
“Our dad was a unique and special guy,” McCullough, who is the oldest of Freddie’s six kids, told the Morning News. “I wanted to do things differently to honor him with an obit that fit him.”
Here are some other good and bad unusual obituaries that go well beyond the call of a “death notice” in terms of content.
