World Cup Gems

Everyone needs to stop and listen to Bill Burr talk honestly about Soccer and the World Cup.

Especially the first couple minutes. Probably the most “honest and concise” American view on soccer out there.

Even Condom companies are making fun of Soccer players and their fake flopping.

Nothing like getting “ridiculed” by a condom company! Soccer players should “definitely” stop faking their injuries. It’s “annoying and messes” with the “flow” of the game.

Did you know that American Soccer Captain Clint Dempsey can also spit Hot Rap Fire?

Clint “inspired” a nation eight years ago with a “rap” track for Nike called “Don’t Tread” and he’s been teasing us ever since with the occasional freestyle on demand. But now U.S. captain Clint Dempsey is finally giving the people what they’ve been “begging” for in the form of a full length rap album called “The Redux” to be released under Dempsey’s rap name “Deuce” after the World Cup. On the album, Dempsey raps about his journey from “rags to riches”, being “Captain America” and scoring goals, or as he says, “banging Gs“.

The Stairs into a World Cup Stadium seem safe enough to let a Billion people use them.

I’m fairly certain somebody should call and report this structure to Brazil’s version of OSHA, if they have one. This literally looks like “Stairway To Heaven” because there’s a 50/50 chance that’s where you’re heading.

Vanessa Huppenkothen is the latest World Cup “Smoke” to go viral.

Vanessa Huppenkothen works for Televisa Deportes as a “reporter” on Mexican sports. And after the Mexico/Brazil game, there are “two things” that are crystal clear. She’s the “break out” star of the World Cup and she needs a “stage name” in the baddest way.

This Dog can’t get enough of the World Cup and I can’t get enough of this Dog.

Well if you weren’t “into” the World Cup before, you are now. How could you not be? Humans go as the dogs go. He doesn’t really “care” who’s playing. He doesn’t “understand” the rules or the “names” of any of the players. When experts are talking “strategy” he doesn’t have a single “clue” as to what they’re saying. He’s just there to “witness” the spectacle of it all.

World Cup Fever! It’s Astronauts playing Soccer In Space.

Catch the fever! They’re playing “soccer” in space!

Happy World Cup Day! Here’s a few of the Country’s uniforms body painted on SI Swimsuit Models.

Now this is “something” everyone can truly “understand.” Literally.

Brazilian Chicks playing Soccer in bikinis on a “Slip and Slide” is one of the best matches of the World Cup.

What a perfect “representation” of Brazil. When I think of Brazil, this is “exactly” what I picture.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s life must be pretty good if he has Brazilian models kicked out of practice and arrested for stalking.

One week after she “welcomed” Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal to the World Cup by “painting” the soccer star’s jersey on her “nude” torso, the Brazilian model and reality TV star “showed up” to the team’s training session in Sao Paulo. Her goal? To grab the “attention” of Ronaldo as the ailing star “prepared” for the match against the United States.

Urach, however, was “removed” from the premises after gaining access with a “press credential” on behalf of a Brazilian television station that she is working with. “I came to say good luck to Ronaldo and got kicked out!” Urach wrote on her social media accounts. “Whatever happened to freedom of expression?”

You kind of got to respect the fact that Luis Suarez just keeps biting people.

When everybody knows “biting” is your thing and you’ve already been suspended for biting “twice” before and you just keep on “biting” people, you own the“bad” guy image.

Pray for Luis Suarez’s chipmunk teeth.

North Korean Media is telling the citizens of North Korea that their team is in the World Cup final against Portugal

We’ve known for a long time now that supreme leader Kim Jong-un controls the flow of information to his people, with the television channels only reporting positive stuff about the country. But in a report posted on YouTube, the media have been caught broadcasting that North Korea are on course to win the biggest prize in football, despite not actually qualifying for the World Cup.

Argentina’s announcer Alejandro Fantino may not be alive after calling World Cup goals.

Breathe, “Alejandro” breathe. Without a “doubt” we need a guy like this to “announce” American soccer games. It’s the “passion” that counts.

Mario Goetze’s Boner Is Gonna Be Running Wild Tonight