“MV Akademik Shokalskiy” going nowhere until the spring thaw…
Recent “embarrassing” reports of the vessel MV Akademik Shokalskiy, which has been on a “global warming” research expedition with 74 scientists on-board to Antarctica, getting “stuck” in the ice after a blizzard’s whipping winds pushed the sea ice around the ship and freezing it in place, has provided ample fodder for opponents of “man made” global warming.
However, what has not been reported is that a “parallel” research effort was also being conducted by the U.S. Navy, whose preliminary data results seems to have “confirmed” that global warming is in fact melting ice at a much faster rate than it was before.
With a research grant “provided” by the Obama administration, experiments were conducted on-board a specially modified research barge “Tikki Beach.”
U.S. Navy modified research barge “Tikki Beach” being maneuvered into place…
The U.S. Navy “ensured” that the tax-payer provided funding was not “wasted” and that only “Eco-friendly” materials were utilized with the modification of the barge to act as the “research platform” for the expedition.
After the Eco-friendly modifications were completed, the “expedition” then set out for Hawaii with a team of elite scientific party members under the “Skipper” guidance of President Barack Obama.
Skipper Barack Hussein Obama
Each were chosen for their “selfless” dedication to the Democratic party.
The ability to endure “hardship” and to be able to toil away from their loved ones for “long periods” of time were also factors considered prior to being chosen to “conduct” this invaluable research.
The scientists day started out with conducting “daily” temperature readings at various times on the upper platform of the barge that had been modified for “maximum” sun exposure.
The scientists then “filled” specially modified glasses with an icy slushy concoction playfully called a “margaritas” by the research team to mimic “arctic” conditions.
The team then carefully “calibrated” the melt times of the “margaritas” to the corresponding temperatures.
The results “astounded” the team.
As the temperatures “rose” during the day to an average high of 88 Fahrenheit the slush concoction “melted” faster than at lower “temperatures” in the morning or evenings.
The team attributes this to “man made” global warming but has not quite yet made a 100 percent “positive” correlation.
More “research and funding” is needed and additional “grant money” has been requested from the Obama administration to continue this most “vital” research.
Since the crew and the 74 scientists on-board have been “rescued” by a fossil-fuel-burning, carbon-spewing helicopter, we can really settle in and make “fun” of the global warming “alarmists,” especially since the mainstream media still largely “refuses” to report what they were “doing” in those waters which weren’t “supposed” to be frozen.
Here is the Ballad of the Global Warming “Tikki Beach” sung to the tune of “The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island.”
Now sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
They traveled to Antarctica
Aboard a Russian ship
The chief was a global warming man
The skipper wasn’t so sure
But activists set sail that day
For a propaganda tour
The water started getting cold
The frozen ship was stuck
Their theories called for melting ice
But they were out of luck… yes, they were out of luck…
The ship ran aground on this block of unexpected ice
With embarrassment….
And skeptics too…
But we spend millions on a hoax
While movie stars
Professors and politicians
Give us contempt and bile
So this is the tale of climate change
It’s here for a long, long time
No matter how much their theories fail
Truth has an uphill climb
The government and Hollywood too
Will do their very best
To make us all uncomfortable
In our sustainable nest
No phone, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
As primitive as can be
The elites won’t join us though, my friends
They’re sure to live in style
While we give up our light bulbs
Recant your climate change denial!
To “sign up” and be considered for “future” Global Warming Arctic “expeditions” events in 2014 contact the White House website!
The Global Warming Tipping Point is Near
Thank Gaia for Carbon
