Snowman Jihad.
Islam is an “ideology” founded on “darkness, death, and destruction.”
Little is “permitted” in the way of “actual” living. And now we “infidels” learn one more small “joy” that has been added to the “list” of what is un-Islamic: “Muslims must not build snowmen.”
Who knew?
Apparently snow “blanketed” the upland areas of Tabuk province near Saudi Arabia’s border with Jordan for the third “consecutive” year, as cold weather “swept” across the Middle East, giving citizens a “rare” opportunity for fun.
So the clerics, in their “inimitable” wisdom, rushed in to ensure that “Allah” would not be offended by any “errant” activities.
Group of women standing around a Snowman.
Prominent Saudi Arabian “Islamic” scholar, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid, whipped up a “controversy” by issuing a “religious ruling” forbidding the building of “Snowmen” describing it as “anti-Islamic.”
Asked on a religious website if it was “permissible” for fathers to build “snowmen” for their children, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid replied: “It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun.”
Children playing in the snow in Tabuk, north of Saudi Arabia.
Sheikh al-Munajjid argued that to “build” a snowman was to “create” an image of a “human” being, an action considered “sinful” under the kingdom’s strict “interpretation” of Sunni Islam.
“God has given people space to make whatever they want which does not have a soul, including trees, ships, fruits, buildings and so on,” he wrote in his ruling.
That “provoked” swift responses from Twitter users “writing” in Arabic and identifying themselves with “Arab” names.
“They are afraid for their faith of everything … sick minds,” one Twitter user wrote.
Snowman and Snow woman in Saudi Arabia getting married.
Another posted a photo of a man in “formal” Arab garb holding the arm of a “snow bride” wearing a bra and lipstick.
“The reason for the ban is fear of sedition,” he wrote.
A third said the country was “plagued” by two types of people: “A people looking for a ‘fatwa’ (religious ruling) for everything in their lives, and a cleric who wants to interfere in everything in the lives of others through a fatwa,” the user wrote.
If you think that sounds “slightly” depressing, you’re not alone.
“We have snow for fleeting days, maybe even hours, and there is always someone who wants to rob us of the joy and the fun,” wrote a blogger identified by Gulf News as Mishaal.
“It seems that the only thing left for us is to sit down and drink coffee.”
Sheikh Munajjid had some supporters, however. “Building snowmen is imitating the infidels, it promotes lustiness and eroticism,” one wrote.
Having anal sex with a Snowmen.
Sex with a snowman? That must be a “frosty, titillating Jihad penis stimulation” before ascending to meet the “72 virgins” in Paradise.
“May God preserve the scholars, for they enjoy sharp vision and recognize matters that even Satan does not think about.”
We’ve seen “fatwa’s” issued for a lot of “crazy” stuff, but this one may top the list of “bizarre no-nos” for Muslims.
I don’t know, but I get a “tingle” in my leg whenever I see a snowman. They all look like “Christina Aguilera” to me.
Islamic clerics can “issue” fatwa’s at the drop of a hat. This bizarre list of the top 10 “weirdest” fatwa’s is “hilarious,” including this one from Sheikh Muhammad al-Munajid: “Bring me the Head of Mickey Mouse.”
That’s right. Calling Mickey Mouse “one of Satan’s soldiers” he decreed that household “mice” and their cartoon “cousins” must be “killed in all cases.”
And get this, this “Sheikh” is not your average “nut job“ either, al-Munajid used to be a former “diplomat” at the Saudi “embassy” in Washington D.C.
One of Satan’s soldiers.
He made the “remarks” on Arab television network al-Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s “teaching on mice.”
But don’t “worry”, Mickey won’t be alone. Munajid also put a hit on Jerry from “Tom and Jerry.”
Maybe these “creatures” could hide with “Salman Rushdie.”
Last year the “General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment” (GAIAE) in the UAE issued a fatwa against “living on Mars.”
The committee “argued” that an attempt to “dwell on the planet” would be so “hazardous” as to be suicidal and “killing” oneself is not permitted by Islam, “unless it’s by Jihad.”
The astronauts, the committee said, would end up dying for no “righteous reason” and would face the same “punishment” in the afterlife as someone who “committed” suicide.
The GAIAE has issued around “two” million Fatwa’s through its “Official Fatwa Center” since its inception in 2008.
Mohammed Saleh al-Minjed decreed that creating snowmen, or any living creature out of snow, was an insult to the Islamic religion.
In Malaysia, meanwhile, “Muslim” clerics have issued fatwa’s “banning” everything from “yoga to Valentine’s Day” in a bid to stop the “influence” of Western culture.
To “ensure” Muslims can keep “pace” with the rules, an “e-fatwa” site has been started the Globalpost reports.
The issue recently came to a head at a “dog-petting” festival for Muslims, with the organizer receiving “threatening” phone calls.
Muslims are taught that “canines” are unclean.
Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid.
Malaysian activist Zainah Anwar, recently wrote that Muslims are “sick and tired of being told, yet again, of more categories of Muslims and practices to be denounced, hated and declare deviant.”
Her women’s rights group, “Sisters in Islam,” has also been targeted. It was issued with a “fatwa” for pushing “liberalism.”
It had “pushed” for Muslim women to be able to enter “beauty” pageants. The group were “challenging” the ruling.
Botox is also “banned,” but can be used if “medically” necessary.
Sometimes, you have to “wonder” if these clerics get a “chuckle” out of some of their more “outrageous” pronouncements on “what is or isn’t” Islamic.
But then you remember the 8th century “ideology” behind their religion and realize they are “deadly” serious, with the emphasis on “deadly.”
