Japanese woman Takiko Shindo, better known as the “Boob Goddess,” hopes to make some quick “cash” with a breast “rake” that she claims can “firm up” a woman’s “bust” and even “enlarge” it.
Takiko Shindo is known for “inventing” something called “Oppai Taisou,” which roughly translates into English as “boob exercise massager.”
Her latest advancement in the field of “bust” enhancement is basically a pink “rake” for stroking and brushing “one’s” breasts.
It sells “online” between $41 and $54.
If you don’t want to “pony” up for the device, I’m sure you could find an “eager and willing” volunteer to “massage” your boobies.
He may not be the “Boob Goddess,” but I’m sure he’ll make up for what he “lacks” in experience with “enthusiasm.”
A super “awkward” 4 minute long Japanese “infomercial” suggests it can “increase” a woman’s bust by “three” centimeters.
The so-called “science,” according to Shindo, is that “ligaments” holding up breasts need to move. Otherwise “fats” in the same area settle “down” around the chest muscles, and causes “breasts to sag.”
As “titillating” as it sounds, Shindo’s theory “flies in the face” of modern “medicine,” according to Dr. Barry Handler, a board-certified “cosmetic” surgeon in San Diego.
“There are ligaments in breast tissue that stretch over time. But once they stretch, they don’t snap back. Ligaments aren’t like muscles, there’s no contractible property.”
But Shindo’s “mammary” massage device may not be a complete “bust,” according to Dr. Bruce Lee, a Beverly Hills-based “gynecologist.”
“Usage of the breast rake upon oneself actually does accomplish several things that theoretically could alter the perception of breast size and shape. When holding the rake in the right hand and massaging and lifting the left breast, one is actually exercising the right pectoral muscles, which lie beneath the breast.”
Lee says these “muscles,” when exercised, will “enlarge, tighten and add shape” to the upper body. He also says mechanical “breast” stimulation can increase breast “growth” in both men and women.
“Certainly, the breast hand or rake is a novel stimulus for the manufacturer, who, no doubt, is smiling. And, pardon the pun, handily raking in the cash,” so to speak.
Japanese people “always” come up with some of the most “outrageous” inventions, one of the few things you can always “count on in life.”
Whether it’s “Dildo” ice cream to help you “smile” or this rake “boob” stimulator, they’re always a “step ahead” of the rest of the world.
But with “Valentines” right around the corner, this “Oppai Taisou” rake is the perfect “gift” for the woman in your life, may it be your “Grandma, Wife, Mistress, Girlfriend, Sister, Lesbian Partner, Aunt or long lost Cousin.”
Nobody wants chocolate or roses for “Valentines” if they can have bigger “tits” regardless of what size their “boobs” already are.
Watching Grandma unwrap her “titty rake” might be a little awkward, but you know what?
She’ll “appreciate” how thoughtful it was of you to give her that special “Valentine” gift.
It’s a “win-win” gadget. So, a big “heads ups” to Japan. Now we just need them to “invent” a rake “stroker” to make male “penises” bigger.
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