A man was accused of stabbing a watermelon with a butcher knife and leaving it in the kitchen for a woman to see, in what police describe as a “passive aggressive” swipe that landed him in custody.
The women was unnerved by what she perceived to be a “menacing gesture” directed at her and reported it to police.
Carmine Cervellino, 49, was arraigned in Bantam Superior Court on charges of second-degree “threatening” and disorderly conduct.
He was released after posting a $500 bond and had his case referred to Family Services.
The woman said she felt Cervellino was resorting to “passive aggressive” tactics to “intimidate her because he is angry at her,” Officer Keith Koval wrote in a report.
Initially, the woman came to police headquarters the morning of July 4 to report finding a plastic bag of marijuana and a pill container — with her name — which had “Percocet” and an unidentified “blue” pill inside.
It was hidden in Cervellino’s tool box, she told police.
She “snatched” them up, took “pictures” with a cell phone camera and “stowed” them away in her room. Later, when the woman returned home, she found the “drugs” missing, she claims, but she showed police the photos.
Cervellino is not facing any drug charges.
The woman returned a “second” time and was greeted by the “sight” of a watermelon, “pierced” by Cervellino’s large butcher knife, sitting on the “kitchen” counter top, police said.
Cervellino walked in seconds later, and without saying anything, began “slicing” pieces of the watermelon. The woman “snapped” a picture of the knife and turned it over to police.
In the USA, we do not “stab” melons. Violence against “melon” kind is frowned upon. You will get arrested.
The White House is on top of it.
President Obama immediately issued an “executive order” asking everyone to join him in the campaign for “Melon Murdering Awareness” and offering people who are “afraid or threatened” to bring their melons to the White House where they will be safely “stored in the basement” away from the melon stabbers.
