President Obama issued a firm “admonition” to Russian Vladimir Putin and said Moscow must respect Ukraine’s borders.
“Just days after the world came to Russia for the Olympic Games, it would invite the condemnation of nations around the world if it invades or otherwise meddles militarily in Ukraine,” the president said.
“And indeed, the United States will stand with the international community in affirming there will be costs for any military intervention in Ukraine.”
Minutes after issuing this “stern warning” to Russia and saying there will be a “price to pay” if it interferes militarily in Ukraine, Obama headed to a “happy hour” with fellow Democrats.
“Well, it’s Friday. It’s after 5 o’clock. So, this is now officially happy hour with the Democratic party,” the president told his cohorts. “I can do that. It is an executive action. I have the authority.”
An audience member then asked the president to “tell us about your plans for nuclear war with Russia.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” Obama said to laughter and applause. “No, no, don’t worry about it. We’re OK. Have a seat. I don’t know anything about that plan. I don’t know what you’ve been reading. Let me return to what I was talking about. See, he thought happy hour started earlier.”
Why is the Janitor answering the Presidents phone?
As a result of Obama’s stern “red line” warning Putin has announced that the whole of Russia will “capitulate” and annex itself to the “entirety” of Ukraine.
In a “sullen” press conference, Putin indicated that the “transitional” agreement calls for “relocating” the Ukrainian capital Kiev to Moscow, adding that he has “stepped down” as president of Russia and has been “appointed” president of greater Ukraine effective immediately.
Mainstream media agreed that this indeed is a “glorious” day for Greater Ukraine and Obama’s “brilliant” foreign policy play, which has once again “defeated” the threat of war with the “great bear” of the east.
