Give Madonna a call. “If You Vote for Hillary Clinton, I Will Give You a Blowjob.”
Pop star Madonna got “raunchy” while introducing comedian Amy Schumer at a performance in New York City, promising the crowd “sexual” favors in exchange for their “support” of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
“If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob. OK?” the 58-year-old “Rebel Heart” singer told an audience at New York’s Madison Square Garden.
“I’m really good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact, and I do swallow.”
Although she is a “worn out,” almost 60 year old “has been” and “gross,” she forgets that people don’t even want to “kiss” her.
When she “surprised” Drake by “slobbering” all over him at “Coachella” last year, he actually “looked like he was about to vomit.”
The comments came as Madonna “warmed” up the crowd with a very brief “standup set” ahead of the “Trainwreck” star’s performance at the Garden.
Schumer took the stage afterward for her first “stand-up” gig since hundreds of supporters of Republican candidate Donald Trump “stood up and walked out” of her performance in Tampa, Florida after the comedian called him an “orange monster.”
Shumer was widely “booed” during the performance at Tampa’s Amalie Arena, where she instructed security to “remove” hecklers.
During her Garden performance, Schumer read aloud a letter she “composed” in response to the Trump fans who “walked out” on her show in Tampa.
“Dearest Tampa, I’m sorry you didn’t want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now. How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views? After the show, I want you to know that I will go straight to a rehab facility.”
The comedian added that she looks forward to “putting this all behind us” in November, when “Hillary Clinton is our motherfucking president.”
Madonna has previously used “sex appeal” to drum up support for the Democratic presidential candidate; in September, the singer joined fellow pop star Katy Perry in stripping off her clothes to encourage Clinton “voters” to head to the polls in November.
“Someone please fuck me” begs Madonna as she suffers second onstage “meltdown” over Rocco “custody battle” and brands ex-husband Guy Ritchie “a son of a bitch.”
In an effort to “boost” the numbers of “patriarchal” voters, Hillary is appealing to men using the most basic of “persuasions.”
Like all of her other “dirty work” she finds “comedians” to do the “job” for her.
In a show of “support and solidarity,” William Jefferson Clinton plans to vote “often,” but refused to provide an “actual number of times” he is capable of “voting” in a day.
