Animal “behaviorist” Dr. Kale Crumlin didn’t “know” how close he came to the “truth” when a few months ago he first “shared” his observations with a “small circle” of colleagues in a paper titled, “The Behavior and Habits of Hillary Clinton,” in which he “compared” the former First Lady to the “dominant” female in a clan of “spotted hyenas,” also known as “laughing hyenas.”
“The cackle, the facial expressions, and the predisposition to dominate males were the first behavioral clues,” wrote Dr. Crumlin, referring to a known “scientific” fact that spotted hyena society is matriarchal; “females are larger than males and dominate them in a pack, with even the lowest ranking females being dominant over the highest ranking males.”
”The males are so nervous around females that it’s very easy to tell them apart,” he observed “even if everyone in the room is wearing pants.”
“The hyena is the only mammalian species whose females are equipped with a pseudo-penis and lack an external vaginal opening,” Dr. Crumlin noted, pointing out that “one route to female dominance is to increase the level of testosterone, which goes hand in hand with aggressive behavior and larger body size.”
Dr. Crumlin “concluded” his research by “suggesting” to test Hillary Clinton’s “DNA” samples for possible “traces” of hyena lineage.
The scientific “analysis” of Hillary Clinton’s DNA “confirmed” Dr. Crumlin’s “prediction,” detecting a significant amount of the “spotted hyena DNA” in her otherwise English, Welsh, Scottish, French, and French Canadian “ancestry,” with multiple family relationships to Madonna and Céline Dion
When asked for comment, the “Hillary for America” campaign office responded that all “information” relating to Mrs. Clinton’s family tree was “lost along with her emails” during the unfortunate private “server wipe” incident.
At the same time, being a strong believer in “identity” politics, Hillary is hopeful that these “findings” will help her to secure the support of “minority and undocumented” animal voters in the coming “presidential” election.
Media Matters compiled a long list of press references of Clinton “laughter’s” during her 2008 and 2016 campaigns.
Characterized as everything from a “cackle” to a “maniacal giggle” below are some “gleeful” hyena laughter’s spotted at “violence, horror, and death…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing when asked about the FBI investigating her “private email server…”
Hillary Clinton biographer Ed Klein said Clinton’s bizarre “cackling” when asked about her email scandal proves that she has a “distorted sense of reality” and is what makes her “so darn unlikeable.”
I guess that’s one way to put it. And so darn sure she isn’t going to see day one in prison.
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing about Carly Fiorina being “strangled…”
The “evil” cackle always comes across as more sincere than the “I’m trying to act like a normal human being” pretend laugh.
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing at the critics at the “Benghazi hearings…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” inexplicably laughing at Americans being kidnapped by “Somali pirates…”
Obviously, she knows “something” we don’t know about how funny it is being “kidnapped and potentially murdered” by real-life pirates.
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing about getting a “child rapist” off by throwing trial rape evidence “out on a technicality…”
Because as everyone knows she’s all about “women and victim’s rights.”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing about getting “World War III started by attacking Iran…”
Because she is “working really hard.”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” gleeful laughing at the news “Qaddafi had been lynched…”
Because “we came, we saw, he died.”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing at the pledge of allegiance line “one nation under God”…
Because she wanted the lady to say “One nation, under Hillary…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing for ten hours, otherwise known as the soundtrack in a “Turkish prison…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” laughing off questions “since 2007…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” greatest CD “laughing hits…”
Here is “Hyena Hillary” going from laughing like a “Hyena to barking like a Dog…”
And the “elites” say no matter what, we’re about to get stuck with a laughing hyena as president.
Sadly, even laughing “psychopaths” usually try to “blend” into society, don’t they?
