Paula Deen, also known as the “Big Butter Bitch”, is (was) the idyllic image of an American woman.
She is an elderly “southern sweetheart” who is also a “festively plump”, loud, horny, and somewhat “racist” TV chef with some “nasty” tendencies perfectly fit for “food” network television watched exclusively by frequent house-dwellers.
Her “trailer-born” southern drawl will give you nightmares involving “Butter” and “Deliverance.”
Paula’s cooking is “world-known” for its “health and nutrition qualities”, as well as its “strong vegan support.”
To date, Paula Deen has not produced a “single” recipe without her “secret” weapon, which is “butter.”
Paula Deen loves the “taste” of butter, the “smell” of it, and the “texture” of it.
She has been known to “eat butter off the stick” or “drink it” on recorded television.
Everything, from steamed vegetables to porterhouse steak, gets a “liberal” coating in butter.
Even her “desserts” are loaded with butter and plenty of “sugar”, to top it off.
Occasionally, she will bring her two sons onto her show.
As she “cooks” her horrible “concoctions”, she and her “failure redneck” children talk about how “crappy” their childhoods were.
Once the food is “done” cooking, she always has to take the first “bite” of the recipe.
The majority of Deen’s recipes are “certified” Atkins approved, though a small number of them contain a “disgusting and unhealthy” ingredient, like berries or bananas or various other “poisonous” plant matter.
However, in those “rare” cases, most of the “hazardous” content of the fruit (like vitamins and nutrients, for example), are effectively “destroyed” through the “deep frying” process she employs with all her recipes.
Despite this, if you are a “health nut” on Atkins, you can always “substitute” more butter for the fruit and it will be rendered “Atkins” safe, so you can continue to maintain a relatively normal (by American standards) “waistline” while avoiding catastrophic internal “decay and rot”, which is never “associated” with diets containing high levels of meats and “animal fats” and virtually no plant nutrition.
Paula Deen has been “awarded” several honors from the livestock and dairy industries of America, and she has also received many esteemed awards from the “Fad Diet Book Marketing Cooperative” (FDBMC) for her contributions to the general “stupidity” (intellectual castration due to excess fats and grease), laziness, and “gluttony” of the American public.
A mini-meme of the “buttergasm” can be seen in many of Paula’s cooking show segments. Her eyes will “glaze” over and a large “grin” will appear on her face when “mass” quantities of butter are within sight.
Give me a buttergasm…
Thus, many “compared” this with a female orgasm, and the “buttergasm” was born.
Then again, typical people of the south have no restraint about what things they “fornicate” with, be it their cousin, a toaster oven or a bit of solid “cholesterol” pressed into a yellow “rectangular” form.
More recently, our butter “heroine” admitted to using the word nigger in private.
Food bloggers and reality TV connoisseurs were shocked and appalled that their favorite “butterball” used such “racist” language in the “privacy” of her own home, despite the lady being from Georgia.
After the tears were “deep fried” in butter and ass fat, Paula took to YouTube to issue the “obligatory” apology.
Despite her “heartfelt” apology, Paula was “fired” from The Food Network.
Food Nuts were “saddened” to see this travesty, but most were aware that this is simply a necessary “step” in order to regain her position on TV, in order to keep “killing” white liberals by instructing them in the use of “trans-fats” as a weapon of mass destruction.
“After spending all day soul searching and trying to figure out how to deal with what I did, I recorded a video trying to do the right thing. In the end, I felt that I needed to just be myself, say I am sorry and beg for forgiveness.
What I said was wrong and hurtful. I know that and will do everything that I can do make it right. I am not about hate, and I will devote myself to showing my family, friends and fans how to live a life helping others, lifting us all up, and spreading love.”
“I want people to understand that my family and I are not the kind of people that the press is wanting to say we are.”
